Guest author
My husband and I recently returned from a three-week trip to Europe. We last went in 2018, so it had been a while since we made such a large geographical and temporal shift in one day. Six years ago the effects of a nine-hour plane trip combined with a nine-hour time difference were no big deal. With him turning 70 this year, and me in my early 60s, this time, we felt it.
It got me thinking, “How many more years do we have to travel, and what do we want to do?” But more than that, it got me thinking about how we need to prepare as we collectively enter this next stage of life.
Acknowledge and accept
Honestly, I can describe my journey through life in two words: things change. Whether we embrace or avoid it, change is coming for us all.
We can, however, prepare for it. Not long ago I looked at my husband while we were getting ready for the day. He was leaning against a wall, and I was sitting on the bed – just to get dressed. We laughed at ourselves, then joined a gym, hired a trainer, and started a strength program aimed at keeping us fit for daily living and an active lifestyle.
So I think that’s one part of success for aging: acknowledge what is happening, and do something about it. (We can get dressed standing on one leg now. That’s progress.)
One of my friends put it really well: “Aging requires a total shift in thinking, and when we accept what’s happening, and release expectations of ourselves and others, it’s like a burden lifting.”
This is equally true for the person who is aging, and also for anyone who loves them. It can be difficult to acknowledge and accept for yourself; it’s almost harder to accept for someone about whom you care – a parent, an older spouse, a grandparent. Yet in doing so, there is peace.
Adapt and be grateful
There’s this half-joking-full-serious gag about old people who drop things on the floor. Whereas a 30-something would simply bend over and pick it up, old people just look at it dolefully and wonder if they really need it anymore.
American writer Jessica Hagedorn said it best: Adaptability is the simple secret of survival. So this is another helpful strategy: adapt. If you can’t run, then walk. If reading is challenging for your eyes, listen to audiobooks. There’s always an option; sometimes we just have to look a little harder to find it.
Maybe adaptability is tied to being curious: staying open to exploring what’s really going on and what options are available. There’s so much freedom in accepting and moving on, because in that shift, I believe possibility can breathe new life into old bones.
When we entertain possibility, we open up worlds of opportunity. When something changes, asking “what’s next” brings me back to possibility, and that keeps me going. Possibility and opportunity almost always provide options for living well. Let go, and move forward.
In turn, living well gives us the chance to say ‘thanks’ for what we’re able to do, and for the people we love. Taking time to name things, out loud or in a journal, gives us an opportunity to cherish the people and activities we enjoy.
When we look back at each day, every week, and the years that comprise our life’s journey, there is so much to be thankful for. Yes, there are hard times and health challenges. Yes, things change. Yes, some changes are uninvited and more life changing than others. Yet I believe that when we acknowledge and accept the changes, adapt and stay open to possibilities, and express our thanks for people and activities every day, we can live as fully as possible, with joy and gratitude.
